I have not written an opinion-themed piece in ages so bear with me and my scatter-brained thoughts. Oh, yeah, CARIMAC people, please do feel free to do the grammar and punctuation check( I know you can't resist)...
So after reading the many Facebook notes, comments and having-even eavesdropping on many conversations about relationships, love and sex; one thing that is common is that we all wonder if the person that we currently like, date, or just scratch a sexual itch is going to the 'one', Mr. Right, Ms. Wife etc.
Now, I don't exactly conform to that view about soul-mates, that there is one person out there that will be your one and only forever and ever amen, selah. Why some of you will ask? For one, if there was that one person out there for each of us, the world would be a better place and many persons would have their many needs fulfilled by that one person, or would be happy even if they weren't all fulfilled and also is tied into the societal(well at least ours) standard for monogamy. Also, I am not ok with the pre-ordained notion that there is some 'one' out there waiting for us to find them-as a good friend pointed put, what if that soul-mate dies while we are searching for them. Yet, even for cynics and non-romantics like myself is still a strong wish and hope that we can find that one person who we can love, and/or tolerate more than the rest. My personal take on this is that in our sojourn in dating, we will find quite a few persons that we will like, get sexually hormonally imbalanced about or just straight up love even if the hormones die out; whoever we end up with is a matter of choice, and to some extent logical computations and expectations.
Alright, some will say "how love supposed to be logical?" For me, it just is, one should never get too caught up in the rising tides of emotions, and don't lose your sense of self just for one person, just because you think you were meant to be forever while searching for your happy ending (thanks Avril!). In my view women especially are caught up in this thing, putting up with bull poop just so they can have someone, snort. You choose to date someone, you choose to put up with their lies, cheating, shoot you chose to lose yourself. In the end you have a part to play in your own heartbreak-and yes I have been heartbroken before, and no, it did not cause me to be like this.
Anyways, I seem to have become distracted. I find myself wondering that if there is supposed to be a man out there for me, somewhere, why have I been in relationships with those in my past and the one in my present? Would he be happy with me now, or would he prefer a different version of me, whether an upgrade or downgrade? Would he run to the hills in fear of me turning him into a licentious depreaved nympho? Or will he convert me into the Jamaican June Cleaver? Since he is supposed to my soul-mate, would he try to change me or would he recognise my soul from a previous incarnation?
That aside, I've had female friends suffer through so much and were willing to put up with the foolishness a bit more just so they could be with the guy they thought was the one or wanted to be the one. I've had male friends call me wondering why the girl they want to be with and get married to turned out to be such a bitch. In both cases I have had to keep my harshest comments chained up because I do not see why they put up with the silliness and then turn about crying while not seeing their part in it. After all that, and not truly allowing their emotions to heal, they continue along the yellow brick road searching for the one. But why search for the one? Why not search for yourself, what would truly make you happy?
hmmm, interesting innit?
I can't fault them, I used to be like that, then I realized through a series of unfortunate events that my dating life would be better if I stopped searching and started living, and by being a bit selfish with my heart, I may have better experiences that I can learn from. Guess what? It worked. I lived, loved, hurt and caused hurt, made friendships, learned about myself, learned about others and learned about life. I realized that I do not need the one to make me happy, all I need is love for myself, a few friends, and family(whether I have fully learned to love myself is another story).
Now, I intended this note to be cynical and it turned out to be more introspective that I wished for. Oh well, I can always try for cynical in a next one.
wow, he thought she was his soulmate. opposites attract?
No comments:
Post a Comment